Understanding Confirmation Bias in Families That Scapegoat
How selective perception supports distorted realities and family scapegoating abuse (FSA)
Introduction: In dysfunctional or narcissistic families where Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA) occurs, confirmation bias and distorted perceptions play significant roles in perpetuating harmful systemic dynamics.
Such families will often assign blame unfairly to a particular member (known as the ‘scapegoat’), leading to a distorted collective perception that reinforces negative behaviors and attitudes demonstrated toward the child victim or adult survivor of FSA.
This article explores how confirmation bias supports distorted reality views and false narratives as related to scapegoating dynamics in families; also, how confirmation bias impacts the ‘scapegoat child’ or adult survivor of FSA.
What is Confirmation Bias?
Confirmation bias refers to the tendency of individuals to search for, interpret, and remember information in a way that confirms their preexisting beliefs or hypotheses.
In the context of dysfunctional or narcissistic family systems, confirmation bias can lead family members to selectively notice and recall incidents or traits that align with their negative perceptions of the ‘scapegoat child’ or adult ‘family scapegoat’ target. This bias reinforces their viewpoint while discounting or ignoring evidence that contradicts it, thus perpetuating the scapegoating cycle.
Confirmation bias intensifies ‘rejecting, shaming, and blaming’ behaviors associated with family scapegoating abuse by reinforcing preconceived notions about the child or adult child in the family ‘scapegoat’ role. Because confirmation bias can be subtle, covert, and insidious, it can be particularly damaging to the ‘scapegoat’ target.
For example, if a family believes a member is irresponsible, they might selectively remember instances that confirm this belief while dismissing or ignoring evidence to the contrary. This selective attention on the child or adult child’s “irresponsibility” solidifies their role within the family as the scapegoat, making it difficult for them to break free from the assigned identity.
This process may also detract from a parent’s irresponsibility - something nobody in the family can (or is allowed to) discuss openly. Instead, this ‘irresponsible’ narrative is transferred onto a more vulnerable family member - the ‘scapegoat child’.
I have seen this dynamic play out often when working with alcoholic family systems where a parent’s drinking and irresponsible behavior is a ‘family secret’.
Versus openly confronting the alcoholic on their egregious behaviors, the family disperses their anxiety onto the ‘scapegoat child’, who is made out to be the “irresponsible” one through a family projection process, as discussed in my article last week.
Guilty Until Proven Guilty
Confirmation bias in scapegoating families can create a hostile environment where any behavior, innocent or not, is interpreted through a negative, distorting lens.
Innocuous actions on the scapegoat child’s or FSA adult survivor’s part can be misinterpreted as intentionally harmful by family members, further entrenching the scapegoat's perceived role as the “troublemaker” or “problem” child.
This bias can affect decision-making processes within the family, leading to unfair treatment or punitive measures against the child or adult child in the ‘family scapegoat’ role, even when they are not at fault.
Over time, this dynamic can erode trust and communication, making it challenging for the scapegoated family member to maintain healthy relationships within the family unit.
Psychologically, confirmation bias in dysfunctional or narcissistic family systems can also impact the scapegoat's self-esteem and mental health. Constantly being labeled as the source of familial issues can create feelings of shame, guilt, and worthlessness.
The ‘scapegoat child’ may then internalize these negative perceptions, eventually believing themselves to be inherently flawed or defective - a distorted reality that the family continues to confirm as a means of avoiding deeper conflicts that are too anxiety provoking for the family to openly acknowledge and address.
This negative self-perception can have long-lasting effects on the scapegoat child’s confidence, social interactions, and overall well-being. Moreover, the scapegoat may struggle to assert their own identity or voice within the family, as their attempts to defend themselves or present alternative perspectives are typically dismissed or overshadowed by the confirmation bias at play.
Distorted Perceptions in Families That Scapegoat
As mentioned above, dysfunctional or narcissistic families often develop distorted perceptions of reality due to underlying issues such as unresolved conflicts, poor communication, and emotional instability. In the case of scapegoating, these distorted perceptions manifest as:
Selective Attention: Family members may focus disproportionately on the scapegoat's mistakes or shortcomings while disregarding their positive contributions or efforts.
Exaggeration of Faults: Minor mistakes or misunderstandings by the scapegoat are blown out of proportion, creating a narrative where they are consistently portrayed in a negative light.
Confirmation of Negative Stereotypes (Confirmation Bias): Stereotypical beliefs about the scapegoat (e.g., being lazy, rebellious, or incompetent) become accepted as truths within the family, even if they are baseless or exaggerated.
Attribution Errors: Any negative event or problem within the family may be automatically attributed to the scapegoat, regardless of actual responsibility or circumstances.
For the scapegoat child or FSA adult survivor, the impact of the dysfunctional processes listed above can be profound and long-lasting. Below are a few of the key negative consequences I see in my practice as a clinician treating adult survivors of FSA:
Low Self-Esteem: Constant criticism and blame can erode the scapegoated family member’s self-worth and confidence.
Emotional Distress: Feelings of isolation, anger, and sadness are common as the scapegoat internalizes the negative labels imposed upon them.
Impacts on Relationships: Scapegoating can affect how the individual interacts with others outside the family, potentially leading to difficulties in forming healthy relationships or trusting others, as discussed in my article Overcoming Social Isolation as an FSA Adult Survivor.
Psychological Health: Long-term scapegoating can contribute to anxiety, depression, complex trauma (C-PTSD), betrayal trauma, traumatic invalidation, rejection sensitivity, and other mental health issues, further exacerbating the scapegoat child’s or FSA adult survivor’s genuine and profound suffering.
Impact of Confirmation Bias on the Family Unit
While scapegoating may provide temporary relief for other family members as they discharge uncomfortable, threatening unconscious material and ‘disowned parts’ onto the scapegoated family member, it ultimately undermines the family system in the following ways:
Erosion of Trust: Trust between family members deteriorates as scapegoating reinforces a culture of blame rather than fostering open communication and mutual respect and support.
Stagnation of Growth: The family avoids addressing underlying issues, hindering opportunities for personal and collective growth. This further supports the ‘closed system’ dynamics that are a hallmark of dysfunctional or narcissistic families.
Cycle of Dysfunction: Scapegoating perpetuates a cycle of dysfunction, psycho-emotional abuse, and trauma that can span generations if left unaddressed, impacting the mental and emotional health of future family members.
Conclusion
Confirmation bias and distorted perceptions are a key aspect of Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA) and support the maltreatment of the scapegoated family member. They operate as destructive underlying forces that perpetuate harmful dynamics, support ‘invisible’ (psycho-emotional) abuse, and hinder healthy familial relationships.
Recognizing these biases and perceptions is crucial to breaking the cycle of scapegoating and fostering a more supportive and compassionate family environment.
Sadly, such recognition is unlikely to happen in families that scapegoat, as they tend to not be open to new awareness; they do not engage in open dialogue; and the family ‘power-holder(s)’ will rarely seek out professional intervention to help break the cycle of abusive dynamics.
This, then, puts the onus of recovery on the family member who is the target of individual and systemic abuse within their family, which is a challenging venture because family scapegoating is rarely recognized - or recognized as abuse - by Mental Health professionals, particularly if they are not well versed in Family Systems and family roles.
Watch my video on Family Scapegoating Abuse and false narratives
Read my Introductory Book on Family Scapegoating Abuse, Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed
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To learn more about recovering from FSA, you are encouraged to check out these resources provided on this list I created for adult survivors by clicking on the button below. You can also check out my FSA Recovery Playlist on YouTube.