FSA Recovery Worksheet: Moving Beyond the 'Family Scapegoat' Story
Transcending the Scapegoat Narrative: An exclusive recovery worksheet for paid subscribers of the Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA) Education Substack
Purpose: This worksheet is designed to help adult survivors of Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA) begin the journey of releasing the damaging ‘scapegoat narrative’. For many survivors, the family’s portrayal of them as being “the problem” has shaped their self-image and sense of identity. This worksheet will guide you through specific steps to recover and realign with your true self - the ‘whole’ self you always have been, and the authentic self you were always meant to be - free of the ‘family scapegoat’ story.
Before starting this worksheet, I encourage you to read this article, Your Life Is Not a Story: Why Narrative Thinking Holds You Back at https://psyche.co/ideas/your-life-is-not-a-story-why-narrative-thinking-holds-you-back
In conjunction with this worksheet, it is also recommended you read my article, New Year, New Beginnings: A Time for Healing and Empowerment for Survivors of Family Scapegoating Abuse and listen to my affirmation on moving beyond the ‘family scapegoat story’ here: https://familyscapegoathealing.substack.com/p/fsa-recovery-affirmation-becoming
While myths and stories can be a rich aspect of human experience, dogma is a set of beliefs or tenets that are considered to be true without question by whoever holds them.
Most adult survivors of Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA) have been burdened with dogma emanating from their family-of-origin for much of their life in the form of what I call the scapegoat narrative. The weight of this damaging false narrative (which typically portrays the FSA target as being of flawed character, i.e., they are “crazy”; “a liar”; “a fake” (or “a faker” in regard to their illnesses or health conditions); “selfish”; “narcissistic”; “weird”; “too sensitive”; etc., can be crushing at a deep soul level, particularly if you are saddled with these types of destructive, demeaning narratives from a very young age.
This five-step worksheet is designed to help you remember that your deepest Presence - your ‘True Self’ nature - exists beyond all human-created narratives, including narratives (stories) you have about yourself.
Step 1: Acknowledging the Scapegoat Narrative
This first step is designed to help you see how the family scapegoat role and the stories imposed upon you due to FSA dynamics have affected you:
Reflect on the messages you received growing up.
What were the primary things your family said or implied about you?
What labels or roles were you assigned?
How did these messages shape your self-image and beliefs?
Identify how the scapegoat role made you feel.
Did you feel misunderstood, rejected, or unloved?
How did the scapegoating influence your view of yourself?
In what ways did you internalize these beliefs as truth?
Do these damaging beliefs exist as your personal dogma today?
Reflection Prompt: Write a brief letter to your younger self, acknowledging the pain of being scapegoated and the emotional wounds it may have caused. Here’s an example of such a letter to help get you started:
Dear Younger Me,
I see you—hurting, confused, and feeling like everything is your fault. I want to take a moment to acknowledge the pain you carried when you were scapegoated. I know it felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders when you were blamed for things and shouldered systemic burdens that weren't yours to bear. That deep, unshakable feeling of being misunderstood, rejected, or unfairly blamed—it was real, and it was wrong.
I know the emotional wounds this caused—how they made you….(add what feel is true for you here)
You are enough. You always have been enough. The pain, the rejection, and the loneliness you felt—they do not take away your beauty or your strength. I wish I could have…
As time passes, you will heal. Those invisible scars will soften and fade. And while the memories may remain, they will not hold the same power over you. You will learn to…
I also want you to know that…
I’m proud of you for surviving this. I’m proud of you for…
With love and understanding,
Your Older Self
Step 2: Transcending the ‘Family Scapegoat’ Story: Separating Truth from Lies
The next step is to critically examine the false stories and beliefs (i.e., the family ‘dogma’) that were imposed on you as the scapegoat and replace them with the truth of who you are.
Challenge the labels imposed on you.
What labels were used to describe you (e.g., "problem child," "troublemaker," "overly sensitive")?
What evidence contradicts these labels?
How would you describe yourself using words that empower you, rather than diminish you?
Write down the truth about yourself.
Reflect on your strengths, talents, and achievements that were ignored or invalidated.
Consider how your true self - your authentic, most whole self - differs from these distorted narratives.
What are your core values and principles?
Reflection Prompt: Write a personal statement in which you describe yourself as someone worthy of love, respect, and compassion. List the qualities that make you uniquely you. Here’s an example: