Little “human projection screen”. Think about that in terms of abuse , threats, blame intimidation and the similar phrase often used that “kids are just like little sponges”.
Is it not a wonder why and how these FSA systems have caused so much damage to children born into it, raised in it and the damage lasts until addressed specifically into adulthood, if as t as ll! Perhaps professional mental health individuals or even well meaning people who use their current “adult judgement” to advise FSA survivors “oh just rise above it…get over it….. be the bigger person….. be the one to make things right….. pay me $$$ for a quick fix…. turn the other cheek…..” should seriously consider this article of Rebecca’s to direct and inform their further education and training.
Please.
People of every walk of life, country, and generation are in need of this specific help to shift into more healthy ways of being in their lives instead of being driven by buried systemic traumas infused in youth that changed their eyes of themselves and the world around them.
I love this comment - especially the reference to "turning the other cheek". I remember learning that bible verse in Sunday school at like age 8 and going, "Huh? Really?". That was the beginning of the end of my Christian faith.
As for the sponge metaphor, I've always described my sensitive self as being like a little frog in a stream. My skin is permeable and I soak up every pollutant and chemical that flows my way. It's very difficult to escape, and these days I've pared down my social connections and commitments to the bare minimum. That way I have the lowest level of exposure and can finally find the homeostasis in myself that was missing in my family growing up.
Did you read my book, which included the Empath chapter? ('Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed') My original research on this phenomenon I named 'FSA' revealed that many targets of FSA (children and adults alike) identify as being highly sensitive (HSP) or an Empath; highly intuitive and pick up 'energy' from others, etc. This also ties into projection processes in families.
Yes! I did read this in the book. Reading Elaine Aron's books about HSP's was like learning that someone had written a book about me without ever having met me! When I learned about CPTSD via Pete Walker's books (and Stephanie Foo'd memoir) a few years later I had a similar feeling. I'm still untangling which qualities of my personality come from nature vs nurture.
It is s life changing book for me “Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed”. Your identification, FSA, and explanation of the dynamics described my upbringing and life until i was able to understand and see it. Raised in FSA, we don’t know what we don’t know and your book helped identify the systemic multigenerational abuses and ultimate dynamic of FSA as it applied so directly to me. Thank you for your research and dedicated work. I’m am thrilled it is being peer reviewed and hope the appropriate help becomes more available as FSA becomes more understood.
Thank you, Ki! It is always rewarding when somebody 'gets' my work and what I'm trying to educate people on in regard to scapegoating typically being SYSTEMIC - which is not, in my experience, stressed enough.
I am also so grateful for your work, Rebecca! My own journey of understanding just how systemic the abuse is in my family has lead to so much grief and anger. It's like learning that a house that I thought was just a little disheveled was actually rife with termites and foundation issues and general rot. If that's the house you're still living in, it's pretty upsetting to actually process that and live according to that new truth. If a therapist had tried to tell me this a few years ago I would have just walked away. I've had to basically build new little houses in safe spaces in order to take a step back and look at how screwed up the original house was. (Really stretching the metaphor there but hopefully that makes sense 😅)
EXCELLENT metaphor, and yes, it is shocking to wake up to. I use the Keanu Reeves and 'The Matrix', as well as the end of 'The Usual Suspects', as analogies for this in my book.
Yes, I emphasized this in my book (Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed) - That we are little more than human projection screens - Most dehumanizing. Hopefully you saw in my last post our 2nd quantitative peer-reviewed study has been approved the the Ethics committee. Research published in peer-reviewed journal on FSA will be critical if we are to get my term describing this phenomenon widely recognized.
Little “human projection screen”. Think about that in terms of abuse , threats, blame intimidation and the similar phrase often used that “kids are just like little sponges”.
Is it not a wonder why and how these FSA systems have caused so much damage to children born into it, raised in it and the damage lasts until addressed specifically into adulthood, if as t as ll! Perhaps professional mental health individuals or even well meaning people who use their current “adult judgement” to advise FSA survivors “oh just rise above it…get over it….. be the bigger person….. be the one to make things right….. pay me $$$ for a quick fix…. turn the other cheek…..” should seriously consider this article of Rebecca’s to direct and inform their further education and training.
Please.
People of every walk of life, country, and generation are in need of this specific help to shift into more healthy ways of being in their lives instead of being driven by buried systemic traumas infused in youth that changed their eyes of themselves and the world around them.
I love this comment - especially the reference to "turning the other cheek". I remember learning that bible verse in Sunday school at like age 8 and going, "Huh? Really?". That was the beginning of the end of my Christian faith.
As for the sponge metaphor, I've always described my sensitive self as being like a little frog in a stream. My skin is permeable and I soak up every pollutant and chemical that flows my way. It's very difficult to escape, and these days I've pared down my social connections and commitments to the bare minimum. That way I have the lowest level of exposure and can finally find the homeostasis in myself that was missing in my family growing up.
Did you read my book, which included the Empath chapter? ('Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed') My original research on this phenomenon I named 'FSA' revealed that many targets of FSA (children and adults alike) identify as being highly sensitive (HSP) or an Empath; highly intuitive and pick up 'energy' from others, etc. This also ties into projection processes in families.
Yes! I did read this in the book. Reading Elaine Aron's books about HSP's was like learning that someone had written a book about me without ever having met me! When I learned about CPTSD via Pete Walker's books (and Stephanie Foo'd memoir) a few years later I had a similar feeling. I'm still untangling which qualities of my personality come from nature vs nurture.
It is s life changing book for me “Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed”. Your identification, FSA, and explanation of the dynamics described my upbringing and life until i was able to understand and see it. Raised in FSA, we don’t know what we don’t know and your book helped identify the systemic multigenerational abuses and ultimate dynamic of FSA as it applied so directly to me. Thank you for your research and dedicated work. I’m am thrilled it is being peer reviewed and hope the appropriate help becomes more available as FSA becomes more understood.
Thank you, Ki! It is always rewarding when somebody 'gets' my work and what I'm trying to educate people on in regard to scapegoating typically being SYSTEMIC - which is not, in my experience, stressed enough.
I am also so grateful for your work, Rebecca! My own journey of understanding just how systemic the abuse is in my family has lead to so much grief and anger. It's like learning that a house that I thought was just a little disheveled was actually rife with termites and foundation issues and general rot. If that's the house you're still living in, it's pretty upsetting to actually process that and live according to that new truth. If a therapist had tried to tell me this a few years ago I would have just walked away. I've had to basically build new little houses in safe spaces in order to take a step back and look at how screwed up the original house was. (Really stretching the metaphor there but hopefully that makes sense 😅)
EXCELLENT metaphor, and yes, it is shocking to wake up to. I use the Keanu Reeves and 'The Matrix', as well as the end of 'The Usual Suspects', as analogies for this in my book.
Yes, I emphasized this in my book (Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed) - That we are little more than human projection screens - Most dehumanizing. Hopefully you saw in my last post our 2nd quantitative peer-reviewed study has been approved the the Ethics committee. Research published in peer-reviewed journal on FSA will be critical if we are to get my term describing this phenomenon widely recognized.