I love hearing all of this, Annette! It is evident you have reached that critical place in our FSA healing and recovery known as 'radical acceptance'. It is a powerful, liberating thing, indeed. To accept WHAT IS, despite it being a painful, unalterable reality (FSA dynamics). Feel free to share your TikTok page link here if you like, and thank you for taking the time to comment.
As a Canadian, Independence Day does not resonate with me, but the meaning you have found within it does. I am grateful to be on a healing journey, seeking my true self. It's been five years since I've spoken to any of my siblings and my parents are dead. In many ways, I am only beginning to recognize the harm caused by the emotional bullying... being blamed for things I did not do, false rumours, and most of all exclusion. I have to regularly remind myself to be gentle and to not blame myself for the loneliness that has haunted me for many years. It is an ongoing journey. Every year brings more healing. One of the ways that I know there is healing is the friendships I am developing. It's not easy for me to trust, but I am gathering near to the people who see me as I am and I am learning to dare to be myself. Thank you for this community which is another way to ease the loneliness and journey towards healing.
You're welcome, Debbie - This new and growing community of FSA adult survivors also feeds and nurtures my soul and brings me comfort for the reasons you mention. On my end, I had stopped dancing and singing (I used to perform at a semi-professional level) due to debilitating symptoms related to FSA, C-PTSD, and Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD). Reclaiming these lost aspects of self - which requires at times re-engaging with others and our community - is indeed part of our FSA recovery journey and I appreciate you sharing where you are in your own healing process with us here - It is a true message of hope that I find both personally and professionally inspiring.
I am so happy that you are dancing and singing. Those body-based art forms can be so vitalizing. What a joy that you have reclaimed that. My creative outlet is writing. Somehow I can say all that I want to say in my fiction and most of the time I am not afraid... and even when I am, I write.
Thank you, Debbie. I plan to start a dedicated discussion thread or chat area for writers here, I'll be sending out a survey to get a better idea of what people want in regard to that so stay tuned.
Andrea was TRULY scapegoated and this has helped validate my own experiences. FYI could be a TRIGGER for some as sexual abuse is described, be aware. Peace and blessings everyone.
Thank you for the links and the trigger warning, Barbara. Looks like to access the second link requires one to sign up for something to read it, just FYI.
While I am socially isolated, and duty bound in daily cares for my husband as well as myself, I've discovered freedom, education, accountability and encouragement in this community.
I also am proud to have three terrific professionals who support my healing journey in weekly meetings, virtually and face-to face. Recently, I am venturing into inner child work or healing of parts integration by attending live Zoom meetings with the faith-based CatholicinRecovery website to journey with other adult children from dysfunctional homes.
I still attend monthly free online deliverance sessions with a Catholic priest/exorcist who is also a psychologist, open to anyone. This has especially helped me in breaking lifelong trauma bonds with Mom and 2 sisters. Those bonds sabotaged me to seek 'comfort' in dysfunctional/narcissistic relationships because they were familiar like the FSA childhood experience; adding to my isolation, pain and confusion.
Amazingly, this cost me next to nothing in terms of money; thank God. Maybe this post will encourage others to seek and find; its out there.
I believe I replied to this somewhere but don't see where - and I restacked this powerful testimony of healing. If you don't see my reply elsewhere, Patricia, please let me know.
Sorry to be a Debbie downer but this is where I’m at right now. The 4th of July was big in our family, my grandfather’s birthday was July4, 1900. I never felt part of my family I just wondered around lost. My uncle Bud was sitting on one of the metal chairs, they were curved like an s they were made in one piece. I was a cubby kid and because I was teased about it constantly I had a lot of shame. Anyway he was sitting on one of those chairs and I leaned on the top of it to give him a kiss hello and lost my balance a little. With both of our weight in the chair it started like collapsing and going backwards, while watching this happen to my horror everyone was laughing. I finally got my balance and stood up and the chair was normal again. I was so ashamed. I don’t know why this came up. All I wanted to say was, my fiance and I were invited to a nice party. He refused, I shut my bedroom door and slept the 4th away. But what saddened me the most is my youngest brother who I thought understood me never picked u to phone to ask if I was doing anything. It just made me sad.
Oh, Joanna, I am so very, very sorry. My heart is aching for you and that little girl you were. I am glad you reached out here, and please just know that your pain - and your story - has been deeply seen, felt, and heard.
I love hearing all of this, Annette! It is evident you have reached that critical place in our FSA healing and recovery known as 'radical acceptance'. It is a powerful, liberating thing, indeed. To accept WHAT IS, despite it being a painful, unalterable reality (FSA dynamics). Feel free to share your TikTok page link here if you like, and thank you for taking the time to comment.
Beautiful, Jaye. Your last sentence, especially. Happy 4th!!
Thanks, Sef!
Thanks, Caroline - I appreciate your sharing my post!
As a Canadian, Independence Day does not resonate with me, but the meaning you have found within it does. I am grateful to be on a healing journey, seeking my true self. It's been five years since I've spoken to any of my siblings and my parents are dead. In many ways, I am only beginning to recognize the harm caused by the emotional bullying... being blamed for things I did not do, false rumours, and most of all exclusion. I have to regularly remind myself to be gentle and to not blame myself for the loneliness that has haunted me for many years. It is an ongoing journey. Every year brings more healing. One of the ways that I know there is healing is the friendships I am developing. It's not easy for me to trust, but I am gathering near to the people who see me as I am and I am learning to dare to be myself. Thank you for this community which is another way to ease the loneliness and journey towards healing.
You're welcome, Debbie - This new and growing community of FSA adult survivors also feeds and nurtures my soul and brings me comfort for the reasons you mention. On my end, I had stopped dancing and singing (I used to perform at a semi-professional level) due to debilitating symptoms related to FSA, C-PTSD, and Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD). Reclaiming these lost aspects of self - which requires at times re-engaging with others and our community - is indeed part of our FSA recovery journey and I appreciate you sharing where you are in your own healing process with us here - It is a true message of hope that I find both personally and professionally inspiring.
I am so happy that you are dancing and singing. Those body-based art forms can be so vitalizing. What a joy that you have reclaimed that. My creative outlet is writing. Somehow I can say all that I want to say in my fiction and most of the time I am not afraid... and even when I am, I write.
Thank you, Debbie. I plan to start a dedicated discussion thread or chat area for writers here, I'll be sending out a survey to get a better idea of what people want in regard to that so stay tuned.
I've often heard "when the student is ready, the teacher appears," and the synchronicity with this article as well as this WaPo article (FYI in the comments is a link to the Canadian press regarding this report,) a FSA survivor with a "famous" parent. https://www.washingtonpost.com/books/2024/07/07/alice-munro-childhood-abuse-andrea-skinner/.
[Toronto Star article] https://www.thestar.com/news/in-the-home-of-alice-munro-a-dark-secret-lurked-now-her-children-want-the/article_69a63202-34cd-11ef-83f4-9b4275c26d84.html
Andrea was TRULY scapegoated and this has helped validate my own experiences. FYI could be a TRIGGER for some as sexual abuse is described, be aware. Peace and blessings everyone.
Thank you for the links and the trigger warning, Barbara. Looks like to access the second link requires one to sign up for something to read it, just FYI.
Thank you, I was able to just “x” out of the offer to read the article for free. Sorry about the paywall.
No problem!!
While I am socially isolated, and duty bound in daily cares for my husband as well as myself, I've discovered freedom, education, accountability and encouragement in this community.
I also am proud to have three terrific professionals who support my healing journey in weekly meetings, virtually and face-to face. Recently, I am venturing into inner child work or healing of parts integration by attending live Zoom meetings with the faith-based CatholicinRecovery website to journey with other adult children from dysfunctional homes.
I still attend monthly free online deliverance sessions with a Catholic priest/exorcist who is also a psychologist, open to anyone. This has especially helped me in breaking lifelong trauma bonds with Mom and 2 sisters. Those bonds sabotaged me to seek 'comfort' in dysfunctional/narcissistic relationships because they were familiar like the FSA childhood experience; adding to my isolation, pain and confusion.
Amazingly, this cost me next to nothing in terms of money; thank God. Maybe this post will encourage others to seek and find; its out there.
I believe I replied to this somewhere but don't see where - and I restacked this powerful testimony of healing. If you don't see my reply elsewhere, Patricia, please let me know.
I tried but missed your comment. No worries. Thanks for restack.
I think it is on the restack I did. If I find it I'll include it again here.
Sorry to be a Debbie downer but this is where I’m at right now. The 4th of July was big in our family, my grandfather’s birthday was July4, 1900. I never felt part of my family I just wondered around lost. My uncle Bud was sitting on one of the metal chairs, they were curved like an s they were made in one piece. I was a cubby kid and because I was teased about it constantly I had a lot of shame. Anyway he was sitting on one of those chairs and I leaned on the top of it to give him a kiss hello and lost my balance a little. With both of our weight in the chair it started like collapsing and going backwards, while watching this happen to my horror everyone was laughing. I finally got my balance and stood up and the chair was normal again. I was so ashamed. I don’t know why this came up. All I wanted to say was, my fiance and I were invited to a nice party. He refused, I shut my bedroom door and slept the 4th away. But what saddened me the most is my youngest brother who I thought understood me never picked u to phone to ask if I was doing anything. It just made me sad.
Oh, Joanna, I am so very, very sorry. My heart is aching for you and that little girl you were. I am glad you reached out here, and please just know that your pain - and your story - has been deeply seen, felt, and heard.