Hi Jaye, I have a sprawling family and all of them have not been instrumental scapegoaters! But yes there certainly were family members and relatives and even “flying monkeys” who bought into the false narratives about me. It was a parting of the clouds and a shining through of light to meet the therapists and doctors who were able to catch everything that was going on because when I went asking for help it was thinking I was the problem. I can elaborate on this in our next video as well! Thank you for watching!
How wonderful Aun (and lucky) you found therapists and doctors who realized what was going on! Unfortunately I had the opposite experience. I was in cancer treatment and became very physically ill, weak, bald, etc from harsh chemo drugs and my FSA eldest sister made phone calls to doctors I had to see to carry out a damaging smear campaign. She made up outrageous scapegoating lies but the doctor lapped it up as the truth. The doctor only let me know my sister had called but angrily refused to tell what my sister had 'reported'. All the damaging lies and labels were put onto my widespread electronic records (I live in Canada) and have had devastating cumulative consequences. I ended up suing my sister for defamation and she issued a Legal Retraction of her lies. I then made numerous attempts to have my records corrected but have never been allowed to. If only the doctor had been competent, honest and advised me what my sister reported I could have at least stemmed some of the harm that followed and is still ongoing.
This is actually in my wheelhouse, (when I used to be a person before my pulmonary embolism temporarily killed me last year), when did this act of egregious gross misconduct occur? Do you reside in a territory or a province? Because I know Canadian PIPEDA and PHIPA Laws extensively as well as the US Federal Enactment of the HIPAA - Health Information Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 (which was adopted and expanded upon by the Canadian Parliament after 1996 - but HIPAA was the primary model for this legislation that was expansive and non specific to PHI or Protected Health Information as it is in the US.)
I used to teach Employment Law for like 7 years or something at SIUE and I have a GPHR accreditation from HRCI - it’s a Global Professional in Human Resources as well as an SPHR - Senior Professional in Human Resources from the HRCI as well. They’re the gold standard of the industry.
I can find a loophole in nearly anything, I’m not an attorney, (due to my having a soul), but I have worked for several major national law firms over my career as their Director/Employee Relations/Compliance/Executive Director of Who Gives a Sh#t Now - but I was a very successful compliance consultant and advisor - I mitigated risk by calculating and analyzing the data derived from my metrical quantitative analyses into statistical data set projections/forecasts within a very minute standard deviation. I translated my own forecasts into $ with regard to employment, etc.
But, I can tell you that if you are a resident of the province of Ontario, your rights were NOT PROTECTED under PHIPA for they have HIC or Health Information Custodians whose compliance is nearly identical to the Federal US HIPAA laws (which are always evolving, especially post COVID-19.) Article IV of PHIPA is a bit different than ours, but a breach is still a breach. It was also a violation of PIPEDA (which, of course, you know is vast and covers nearly every industry but doesn’t specifically define what constitutes PHI.)
However, private practice? Then he’s not allowed to speak to anyone without your written consent with regard to your personal health information or any kind of personal information whatsoever. He can’t even acknowledge that he’s your physician. And, I suggest you hold him accountable because his compliance designee didn’t protect him from risk - of himself being an idiot for talking to your idiot elder sister without your consent in writing.
Thank you so much Bridget for your detailed reply! I live in Alberta, Canada. We have OIPC Alberta (Office of Information and Privacy Commissioner) My sister's lies were put into widespread electronic records back in 2010 (while I was in cancer treatment). After my sister made phone calls (and requested doctors not tell me anything and they obliged her) there was a big change in how I was treated by the doctors. It was very confusing and alarming but at the time I had no clue what my sister had ‘reported’. I was so ill and beaten up by the effects of chemo, steroids, etc, it took a while to function again and process the extent of the medical abuse. In the following year my family doctor made some referrals to specialists for me for some health issues but all the specialists kept repeatedly refusing to see me. So I finally asked my family doctor if there was something horrible written about me somewhere in my records. She pulled up province wide electronic records and gave me a copy of a 4 page damaging psych report that repeated my sister’s many lies. During treatment chemo and steroids caused sleep issues and I was sent to see a psychiatrist under the guise it was for “help with sleep meds”. When my sister called the psychiatrist one of the many accusations she made was that the (well known) adverse effects I had from chemo drugs were “bizarre and had ZERO basis”. So the psychiatrist immediately put a label of “Somatization Disorder” along with “Severe and Persistent Borderline Personality Disorder” into her published report. The OIPC clearly stated personal health information must come from the patient themselves, with the only exceptions being if the patient is incapacitated or had given consent to have their information collected from a third party. When I contacted lawyers for help and had to explain the issue of the psych report they didn’t want to take it on. I finally realized I would have to sue my sister for a Retraction and it was very difficult to even find a lawyer to take that on. (The lawyer who did take it on and obtained the Legal Retraction from my sister has since retired) I have tried many other routes as well without any luck. I also made a complaint to our Alberta Health Services org. The AHS lawyer dismissed it and if you can believe it he actually stated my complaint was “inflammatory” and “provocative” when I simply stated the facts and provided records that proved those facts. With the OIPC you must make a complaint to the doctor first and if the doctor won’t correct your records you can ask the OIPC for a Review. So after the doctor refused to correct, I asked OIPC for a Review. The lawyer at OIPC was sympathetic to my situation but told me I had not laid out my complaint to the doctor in “the correct manner.” She instructed me on how it needed to be and told me to submit a new complaint to the doctor in the manner she explained. So I did what she told me and sent in a new complaint to the doctor. The doctor and her free, tax-payer funded lawyer (via the CMPA org) immediately told OIPC my complaint was “repetitious” and I was “bothering” the doctor. They requested permission to ignore my new complaint and have me banned from ever contacting the doctor on the matter again. The OIPC caved and went along with the doctor/CMPA lawyers. I hope to write out the many details of this ordeal (the devil is certainly in the details) as a way to warn people what can happen when you have health issues and are also a victim of FSA. Bridget, I must say I am so sorry to hear you had a pulmonary embolism last year! Yikes! I hope it has cleared up completely and all is okay now? Take good care!
I’m going to go sit in my car for a little while to SCREAM and then I’ll return.
Right back to regularly scheduled programming.
Your sister seems to be suffering from a chronic incurable condition that afflict many women I’ve never even met. No, I am no doctor nor expert nor therapist. And yet, I do have a particular skill set that only a former cheerleader 📣 could possess.
That squad taught me when I should channel my inner mean girl to call out your sister by my inner mean girl name.
Hey, you. Yeah, you. What’s your name, again? No? I’ll give you a new one that I think suits your overall “vibe.” Wait, for it….
I hope that, at least, in my small petulant little regressive way, I helped you finally get to the truth about your sister’s decisions to irreparably damage your credibility.
I know that I am wrong. You should never resort to name calling. We would never want her to take accountability for her behavior or anything.
But, it feels so very right, which is totally low key not nice, but it’s still accurate. If she didn’t want to be a Fugly Bitch, she should’ve been a better sister.
Honestly I still cannot wrap my head around someone, let alone a family member, doing something so vile. She knew how ill I had become from chemo, got so weak/dizzy I fell and suffered a serious head trauma (head gash needed stitches and CT), had daily profuse nosebleeds so bad I had to call paramedics one time etc. I lived alone and was still managing to do my laundry, make myself something to eat and never expected her or anyone to be helping me. It was all about her own guilt, shame and paranoia
I’m so sorry to hear that Rosalee, I should have elaborated. I was lucky eventually to find the right people but for years I bounced between 5 different psychiatrists and had the same experience as you with my previous therapists. The borderline diagnosis would show up in my interactions with every doctor in how closely they would split hairs with me about whatever it was that I was reporting. I stopped going to the doctor for years and developed a lot of long term and chronic health issues as well. I completely understand what you mean and this is one of the goals that drive me in what I’m doing. I love the mental health professionals that read my newsletter, but I want even the chiropractor to know these things because these kinds of abuse are so common in health care for people with mental illnesses. You shouldn’t get to be a fool when it comes to mental health just because you’re a nephrologist. I’d like to see all this knowledge in the hands of medical students still in university.
Yes absolutely. And all of this can be slipped into a neurology module in the basic sciences years of med school. I was speaking to a family friend who is a doctor and works in administration and she was mentioning how it would be a great idea to teach mental health and counselling skills and certify us during med school so we can have more job options sooner as well. In Canada there’s a running joke that calling and Uber is better than calling an ambulance because the chances of the driver being a doctor are just that high. Been there and done that!
It could all be wrapped into "Understanding ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences scoring') and how this affects physical health. I texted you today on something but don't know if it got to you, contact didn't save properly in my phone, let me know if you got my texts or not regarding the YouTube short I posted this afternoon from our Collab.
Oh yes I understand and I am sorry to hear that. It is so relatable Aun. Yes after a very stigmatized label like BPD is on your records there is no escaping it when you need any type of medical service. I have read articles that call BPD the "Kiss of Death" label. I also have numerous health issues from being denied medical services because of this label being placed on my records in 2010 due to my FSA sister's lies. An example: early one evening in 2013 I saw a streak of blood in my vision in my right eye. I called HealthLink for advice and was told to get the ER immediately. My partner was running a military training course but he left and drove me to the ER. At the ER I saw the nurses reading the psych report and was worried. I was made to wait about 5-6 hours, while many other patients came and went. (it wasn't even busy at that time) When I finally saw the doctor he didn't really look in my eye and flippantly said "oh it's probably just floaters" and sent me home. The next morning I could not see anything out of that eye and went back to the ER. I was made to wait all day in the Eye Clinic until it was closing, At that point they called a doctor back from the parking lot. He came rushing in and was not happy. Turned out I had a torn retina and he stated there was so much blood in my eye he could not see what he was doing and the laser repair may not hold. He said if I have flashing to get back to the ER immediately. I struggle with visual disturbances and flashing very often since but cannot bring myself to go back. Because of this label on my records I have been denied services for a number of other health issues and now live with more pain and increasing health issues because of that. I had never even heard of 'BPD' until I found out about the phone calls my sister made to doctors while I was in cancer treatment and how she falsely and maliciously claimed I had been diagnosed with this in the past. My eldest sister and I were estranged about a year before I was given a cancer dx due to her FSA. She didn't want to offer support but needed to alleviate her guilt and shame and maintain her fragile 'image of perfection' so she attacked me. This is why Rebecca's work is so, so important. Medical staff need to know of this insidious form of damaging abuse and to ask questions, verify, keep an open mind, reserve judgement and always keep the patient in the loop as to what is going on. I am glad you and Rebecca are collaborating on these crucial issues.
I've helped clients get their diagnoses changed from BPD to C-PTSD. This type of misdiagnosis happens far too often and it is a double soul-assault to be scapegoated and then further pathologized with a label that is made permanent in one's medical record, courtesy of 'family'. Keep us posted, Rosalee, and keep "fighting the good fight"!
Hi Lynne - Did you have technical difficulties? Let me know here or in a Direct Message what you experienced so I can try to help so you don’t miss the next one. So sorry you couldn’t attend.
You're so welcome, June - I don't know what I would do if you did not show up in a Livestream, I'd be worried - If you're ever going to miss one, tell me in advance if you can, ha!
Thank you Rebecca and Aun, I really enjoyed this livestream! I appreciate all the information and candid discussions. It is so true how FSA can bring additional 'layers of stress' and cause inflammation and immune responses etc. and as Aun mentioned it becomes an "allostatic load". It was great to see Happy too. It was so cute when Happy flew up on Aun's head at 1:52:47! 😀
I had not seen that, of somehow missed it, may have been talking to people in live chat or looking for a question, I saw it in the playback and laughed my a## off!
Hahaha I thought no one noticed him do that. A car was loud outside and made him take flight but he always seeks me out and lands on my head when he gets scared!
Glad you could watch it, Bridget, did you make the Livestream or watch the playback? My next paid subs only Livestream is June 20 at 11 am PDT, save the date and hope you join us, I'll announce it to the group soon.
PS, the live chat does not get posted, but this playback is a public post so the comments here are public, as mentioned in the email header and in the post.
Thank you for this collaboration. I heard so much new information I will have to listen a few times. But as always it's putting more puzzle pieces together for me. I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING about the abuse I have endured. I know I am stuck but when you two were talking about the protective higher self that really resonated. I am very protective as a mother, wife, and animal caretaker. I was sitting at my desk last week and my leg started to bounce, like when you are nervous and I let it keeping going, then it turned into both my legs just pounding the floor. For like 10 minutes! Instinctively I knew it was trauma release related. I will look for some creative outlet while moving my body. My husband found jiu jitsu, I highly recommend that for anyone that likes that. It has been the most healing thing for him.
I think that's an excellent idea, Laura - I don't know where you live but some cities have something called 5 Rhythms dancing - It is really powerful. No dance training needed, it is free style to different rhythms. You can search for a class here or just learn more about it: https://www.5rhythms.com/
I listened/watched the playback. Oh my, i wrote notes about the epiphanies i was relating to - and want to address in private chat. Omg. I loved this. You and Aun are so easy to follow and watch/listen to!!! Thank you
Listening to this has prompted a flood of thoughts. I remember when a therapist told me I had BPD and that meant I couldn’t change or heal. It was crushing…then I was given high doses of medication for psychotic ideation because I was hearing things. I was terrified that I was clinically insane. This was several decades ago when BPD was getting a toehold, but the iatrogenic harm of which you speak was profound. I was already a scapegoat but instead I thought I was constitutionally defective. I did not want to live. I am so glad to hear Aun say that he has had every diagnosis under the sun because I think a lot of us have had that experience, and it undermined my will to live. I am also thinking about dissociation, and remembering that when I left home, I willfully imagined a gigantic black brush dipped in tar painting over my childhood. I went to graduate school and was sort of a zombie, numbed out, but I didn’t have memories of abuse until later. Five years into EMDR I felt as if the fog was lifting. I felt like I was getting sharper. I actually went to bed one night and figured out a math problem that was on a take-home exam in my sleep! Sometimes I still elect to dissociate — to numb myself. I am learning emotional regulation, but sometimes it’s a lot of effort that I don’t have. I have seen perfectionism in my siblings and my son as a response to inability to emotionally regulate — having a focus, a goal, a list of tasks — moving the energy to the prefrontal cortex and out of the lower brain. I also racewalk and that is a critical necessity — it is bilateral, like EMDR, and calms me down. I’ll keep mulling…so much in this community that keeps expanding our awareness. Thanks to you and Rebecca!
Thank you for sharing your experience Melanie, I am saddened to hear of it but I’m also happy that you can relate. There are so many of us with this experience and we keep living under the assumption that we are defective or somehow even doing insanity wrong. With time, connection, and work there is certainly hope for a fulfilling life.
Melanie, there's so much important stuff here in your comment - with your permission I'd like to keep a private copy of this because I know I'm going to have you come on to do a livestream with me on transgenerational trauma and such but I think the things you write here our Community would also like to hear about and maybe ask questions about, and maybe for part of the live stream Aun can jump on to chime in cuz we can have three or four people in a collaboration, I just discovered. Would it be okay if I saved this comment here of yours so I can refer to it later?
This is an incredibly helpful and valuable discussion. Thank you Rebecca for your content that is so vital to healing from FSa. Dr. Ali, thank you so much for your transparency. Your story helps me so much!
Thank you, Constance - I'll have Dr. Ali back on soon - I'm going to ask our paid members what they might like us to further hone in on in our next collaborative livestream. If you want to chime in on that early, you can do so by replying to me here.
I love what you're doing! I can't imagine improving it! Just more of the same. I do prefer the lives, rather than the written posts. I can listen while I'm doing housework, LOL!!
Great feedback, Constance, thank you! I love doing the lives and love having subscribers on camera; love the live chat and love our private livestreams as well. June 20th is our next private community Livestream and I'll be having Dr. Simon Rogoff on July 7th. I'll get announcements out soon.
Hi Jaye, is this a question for Aun? If so I can save it for the next livestream we do together which will be sometime this summer I think.
I didn’t see it in the stream anyway, busy doing the interview. Do you want this question put forth during my next stream with Aun?
Hi Jaye, I have a sprawling family and all of them have not been instrumental scapegoaters! But yes there certainly were family members and relatives and even “flying monkeys” who bought into the false narratives about me. It was a parting of the clouds and a shining through of light to meet the therapists and doctors who were able to catch everything that was going on because when I went asking for help it was thinking I was the problem. I can elaborate on this in our next video as well! Thank you for watching!
How wonderful Aun (and lucky) you found therapists and doctors who realized what was going on! Unfortunately I had the opposite experience. I was in cancer treatment and became very physically ill, weak, bald, etc from harsh chemo drugs and my FSA eldest sister made phone calls to doctors I had to see to carry out a damaging smear campaign. She made up outrageous scapegoating lies but the doctor lapped it up as the truth. The doctor only let me know my sister had called but angrily refused to tell what my sister had 'reported'. All the damaging lies and labels were put onto my widespread electronic records (I live in Canada) and have had devastating cumulative consequences. I ended up suing my sister for defamation and she issued a Legal Retraction of her lies. I then made numerous attempts to have my records corrected but have never been allowed to. If only the doctor had been competent, honest and advised me what my sister reported I could have at least stemmed some of the harm that followed and is still ongoing.
So sorry Rosalee that this difficult situation continues for you !
OMG!!! I am outraged…
This is actually in my wheelhouse, (when I used to be a person before my pulmonary embolism temporarily killed me last year), when did this act of egregious gross misconduct occur? Do you reside in a territory or a province? Because I know Canadian PIPEDA and PHIPA Laws extensively as well as the US Federal Enactment of the HIPAA - Health Information Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 (which was adopted and expanded upon by the Canadian Parliament after 1996 - but HIPAA was the primary model for this legislation that was expansive and non specific to PHI or Protected Health Information as it is in the US.)
I used to teach Employment Law for like 7 years or something at SIUE and I have a GPHR accreditation from HRCI - it’s a Global Professional in Human Resources as well as an SPHR - Senior Professional in Human Resources from the HRCI as well. They’re the gold standard of the industry.
I can find a loophole in nearly anything, I’m not an attorney, (due to my having a soul), but I have worked for several major national law firms over my career as their Director/Employee Relations/Compliance/Executive Director of Who Gives a Sh#t Now - but I was a very successful compliance consultant and advisor - I mitigated risk by calculating and analyzing the data derived from my metrical quantitative analyses into statistical data set projections/forecasts within a very minute standard deviation. I translated my own forecasts into $ with regard to employment, etc.
But, I can tell you that if you are a resident of the province of Ontario, your rights were NOT PROTECTED under PHIPA for they have HIC or Health Information Custodians whose compliance is nearly identical to the Federal US HIPAA laws (which are always evolving, especially post COVID-19.) Article IV of PHIPA is a bit different than ours, but a breach is still a breach. It was also a violation of PIPEDA (which, of course, you know is vast and covers nearly every industry but doesn’t specifically define what constitutes PHI.)
However, private practice? Then he’s not allowed to speak to anyone without your written consent with regard to your personal health information or any kind of personal information whatsoever. He can’t even acknowledge that he’s your physician. And, I suggest you hold him accountable because his compliance designee didn’t protect him from risk - of himself being an idiot for talking to your idiot elder sister without your consent in writing.
Thank you so much Bridget for your detailed reply! I live in Alberta, Canada. We have OIPC Alberta (Office of Information and Privacy Commissioner) My sister's lies were put into widespread electronic records back in 2010 (while I was in cancer treatment). After my sister made phone calls (and requested doctors not tell me anything and they obliged her) there was a big change in how I was treated by the doctors. It was very confusing and alarming but at the time I had no clue what my sister had ‘reported’. I was so ill and beaten up by the effects of chemo, steroids, etc, it took a while to function again and process the extent of the medical abuse. In the following year my family doctor made some referrals to specialists for me for some health issues but all the specialists kept repeatedly refusing to see me. So I finally asked my family doctor if there was something horrible written about me somewhere in my records. She pulled up province wide electronic records and gave me a copy of a 4 page damaging psych report that repeated my sister’s many lies. During treatment chemo and steroids caused sleep issues and I was sent to see a psychiatrist under the guise it was for “help with sleep meds”. When my sister called the psychiatrist one of the many accusations she made was that the (well known) adverse effects I had from chemo drugs were “bizarre and had ZERO basis”. So the psychiatrist immediately put a label of “Somatization Disorder” along with “Severe and Persistent Borderline Personality Disorder” into her published report. The OIPC clearly stated personal health information must come from the patient themselves, with the only exceptions being if the patient is incapacitated or had given consent to have their information collected from a third party. When I contacted lawyers for help and had to explain the issue of the psych report they didn’t want to take it on. I finally realized I would have to sue my sister for a Retraction and it was very difficult to even find a lawyer to take that on. (The lawyer who did take it on and obtained the Legal Retraction from my sister has since retired) I have tried many other routes as well without any luck. I also made a complaint to our Alberta Health Services org. The AHS lawyer dismissed it and if you can believe it he actually stated my complaint was “inflammatory” and “provocative” when I simply stated the facts and provided records that proved those facts. With the OIPC you must make a complaint to the doctor first and if the doctor won’t correct your records you can ask the OIPC for a Review. So after the doctor refused to correct, I asked OIPC for a Review. The lawyer at OIPC was sympathetic to my situation but told me I had not laid out my complaint to the doctor in “the correct manner.” She instructed me on how it needed to be and told me to submit a new complaint to the doctor in the manner she explained. So I did what she told me and sent in a new complaint to the doctor. The doctor and her free, tax-payer funded lawyer (via the CMPA org) immediately told OIPC my complaint was “repetitious” and I was “bothering” the doctor. They requested permission to ignore my new complaint and have me banned from ever contacting the doctor on the matter again. The OIPC caved and went along with the doctor/CMPA lawyers. I hope to write out the many details of this ordeal (the devil is certainly in the details) as a way to warn people what can happen when you have health issues and are also a victim of FSA. Bridget, I must say I am so sorry to hear you had a pulmonary embolism last year! Yikes! I hope it has cleared up completely and all is okay now? Take good care!
I have to excuse myself for a moment.
I’m going to go sit in my car for a little while to SCREAM and then I’ll return.
Right back to regularly scheduled programming.
Your sister seems to be suffering from a chronic incurable condition that afflict many women I’ve never even met. No, I am no doctor nor expert nor therapist. And yet, I do have a particular skill set that only a former cheerleader 📣 could possess.
That squad taught me when I should channel my inner mean girl to call out your sister by my inner mean girl name.
Hey, you. Yeah, you. What’s your name, again? No? I’ll give you a new one that I think suits your overall “vibe.” Wait, for it….
It’s FUGLY BITCH, now.
💋📣
That is very fitting! 👍
I’m still alive. Don’t worry about me.
I hope that, at least, in my small petulant little regressive way, I helped you finally get to the truth about your sister’s decisions to irreparably damage your credibility.
I know that I am wrong. You should never resort to name calling. We would never want her to take accountability for her behavior or anything.
But, it feels so very right, which is totally low key not nice, but it’s still accurate. If she didn’t want to be a Fugly Bitch, she should’ve been a better sister.
Honestly I still cannot wrap my head around someone, let alone a family member, doing something so vile. She knew how ill I had become from chemo, got so weak/dizzy I fell and suffered a serious head trauma (head gash needed stitches and CT), had daily profuse nosebleeds so bad I had to call paramedics one time etc. I lived alone and was still managing to do my laundry, make myself something to eat and never expected her or anyone to be helping me. It was all about her own guilt, shame and paranoia
I’m so sorry to hear that Rosalee, I should have elaborated. I was lucky eventually to find the right people but for years I bounced between 5 different psychiatrists and had the same experience as you with my previous therapists. The borderline diagnosis would show up in my interactions with every doctor in how closely they would split hairs with me about whatever it was that I was reporting. I stopped going to the doctor for years and developed a lot of long term and chronic health issues as well. I completely understand what you mean and this is one of the goals that drive me in what I’m doing. I love the mental health professionals that read my newsletter, but I want even the chiropractor to know these things because these kinds of abuse are so common in health care for people with mental illnesses. You shouldn’t get to be a fool when it comes to mental health just because you’re a nephrologist. I’d like to see all this knowledge in the hands of medical students still in university.
I feel the same about Family Scapegoating Abuse - there needs to be system-wide education on this at every level.
Yes absolutely. And all of this can be slipped into a neurology module in the basic sciences years of med school. I was speaking to a family friend who is a doctor and works in administration and she was mentioning how it would be a great idea to teach mental health and counselling skills and certify us during med school so we can have more job options sooner as well. In Canada there’s a running joke that calling and Uber is better than calling an ambulance because the chances of the driver being a doctor are just that high. Been there and done that!
It could all be wrapped into "Understanding ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences scoring') and how this affects physical health. I texted you today on something but don't know if it got to you, contact didn't save properly in my phone, let me know if you got my texts or not regarding the YouTube short I posted this afternoon from our Collab.
Oh yes I understand and I am sorry to hear that. It is so relatable Aun. Yes after a very stigmatized label like BPD is on your records there is no escaping it when you need any type of medical service. I have read articles that call BPD the "Kiss of Death" label. I also have numerous health issues from being denied medical services because of this label being placed on my records in 2010 due to my FSA sister's lies. An example: early one evening in 2013 I saw a streak of blood in my vision in my right eye. I called HealthLink for advice and was told to get the ER immediately. My partner was running a military training course but he left and drove me to the ER. At the ER I saw the nurses reading the psych report and was worried. I was made to wait about 5-6 hours, while many other patients came and went. (it wasn't even busy at that time) When I finally saw the doctor he didn't really look in my eye and flippantly said "oh it's probably just floaters" and sent me home. The next morning I could not see anything out of that eye and went back to the ER. I was made to wait all day in the Eye Clinic until it was closing, At that point they called a doctor back from the parking lot. He came rushing in and was not happy. Turned out I had a torn retina and he stated there was so much blood in my eye he could not see what he was doing and the laser repair may not hold. He said if I have flashing to get back to the ER immediately. I struggle with visual disturbances and flashing very often since but cannot bring myself to go back. Because of this label on my records I have been denied services for a number of other health issues and now live with more pain and increasing health issues because of that. I had never even heard of 'BPD' until I found out about the phone calls my sister made to doctors while I was in cancer treatment and how she falsely and maliciously claimed I had been diagnosed with this in the past. My eldest sister and I were estranged about a year before I was given a cancer dx due to her FSA. She didn't want to offer support but needed to alleviate her guilt and shame and maintain her fragile 'image of perfection' so she attacked me. This is why Rebecca's work is so, so important. Medical staff need to know of this insidious form of damaging abuse and to ask questions, verify, keep an open mind, reserve judgement and always keep the patient in the loop as to what is going on. I am glad you and Rebecca are collaborating on these crucial issues.
I've helped clients get their diagnoses changed from BPD to C-PTSD. This type of misdiagnosis happens far too often and it is a double soul-assault to be scapegoated and then further pathologized with a label that is made permanent in one's medical record, courtesy of 'family'. Keep us posted, Rosalee, and keep "fighting the good fight"!
Thanks so much Rebecca! ❤ I am putting together one last effort to try get my records corrected.
Thank you for this interview unfortunately I have to go but I’m very grateful for your support and your work 🙏❤️
Hi, this is a playback so you can watch it anytime or listen to it as a podcast or RSS feed!
I couldn't get on the livestream but I'm listening to it now....
Hi Lynne - Did you have technical difficulties? Let me know here or in a Direct Message what you experienced so I can try to help so you don’t miss the next one. So sorry you couldn’t attend.
Rebecca, I might not have had my computer pegged to alert me to the livestream.
Thank you Rebecca, Aun & Caroline, a special 2 hours spent with you & this community.
You're so welcome, June - I don't know what I would do if you did not show up in a Livestream, I'd be worried - If you're ever going to miss one, tell me in advance if you can, ha!
Thank you Rebecca and Aun, I really enjoyed this livestream! I appreciate all the information and candid discussions. It is so true how FSA can bring additional 'layers of stress' and cause inflammation and immune responses etc. and as Aun mentioned it becomes an "allostatic load". It was great to see Happy too. It was so cute when Happy flew up on Aun's head at 1:52:47! 😀
Yes, on a lighter note, I laughed outload when Happy landed on Aun's head.
Yes June, I did too! Maybe Happy wanted a bit more attention. lol
I had not seen that, of somehow missed it, may have been talking to people in live chat or looking for a question, I saw it in the playback and laughed my a## off!
"out loud", I mean !
Hahaha I thought no one noticed him do that. A car was loud outside and made him take flight but he always seeks me out and lands on my head when he gets scared!
Happy knows his safe place! So cute 😍
So glad you could make it, Rosalee, I think we all learned a lot from Aun, including me!
I love love this livestream!!!! Thank you Rebecca❤️ and aun ❤️❤️❤️!!!! Hi Caroline :)
Thank you, so glad you could watch it on the playback. Hope you can make the next one, it will be with Dr Simon Rogoff on July 5, I believe.
I am going to def try!!!!! This community is a “healing balm”…thank u Rebecca! I have some good stories to share on the next small gains❤️
Oooh, can’t wait!
Happy is a STAR
Congratulations Aun! Proud of you and your journey my man!
Thanks brooo
I’m a completely enlightened iteration of myself than yesterday. Rebecca! Dr. Aun!
I’m happy to hear we were able to help! Thank you for watching. :)
Thank you for sharing with vulnerability. That’s what true strength actually looks like. And, it fits you perfectly. 😊
Glad you could watch it, Bridget, did you make the Livestream or watch the playback? My next paid subs only Livestream is June 20 at 11 am PDT, save the date and hope you join us, I'll announce it to the group soon.
This was public and I’m exhausted from tests and I need to erase it
Bridget, are you saying you need to delete your comments here - or need me to? Confused...and hope you are getting some rest.
PS, the live chat does not get posted, but this playback is a public post so the comments here are public, as mentioned in the email header and in the post.
Thank you for this collaboration. I heard so much new information I will have to listen a few times. But as always it's putting more puzzle pieces together for me. I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING about the abuse I have endured. I know I am stuck but when you two were talking about the protective higher self that really resonated. I am very protective as a mother, wife, and animal caretaker. I was sitting at my desk last week and my leg started to bounce, like when you are nervous and I let it keeping going, then it turned into both my legs just pounding the floor. For like 10 minutes! Instinctively I knew it was trauma release related. I will look for some creative outlet while moving my body. My husband found jiu jitsu, I highly recommend that for anyone that likes that. It has been the most healing thing for him.
I think that's an excellent idea, Laura - I don't know where you live but some cities have something called 5 Rhythms dancing - It is really powerful. No dance training needed, it is free style to different rhythms. You can search for a class here or just learn more about it: https://www.5rhythms.com/
I listened/watched the playback. Oh my, i wrote notes about the epiphanies i was relating to - and want to address in private chat. Omg. I loved this. You and Aun are so easy to follow and watch/listen to!!! Thank you
Thanks, Ki, I'm glad you got so much out of it!
Listening to this has prompted a flood of thoughts. I remember when a therapist told me I had BPD and that meant I couldn’t change or heal. It was crushing…then I was given high doses of medication for psychotic ideation because I was hearing things. I was terrified that I was clinically insane. This was several decades ago when BPD was getting a toehold, but the iatrogenic harm of which you speak was profound. I was already a scapegoat but instead I thought I was constitutionally defective. I did not want to live. I am so glad to hear Aun say that he has had every diagnosis under the sun because I think a lot of us have had that experience, and it undermined my will to live. I am also thinking about dissociation, and remembering that when I left home, I willfully imagined a gigantic black brush dipped in tar painting over my childhood. I went to graduate school and was sort of a zombie, numbed out, but I didn’t have memories of abuse until later. Five years into EMDR I felt as if the fog was lifting. I felt like I was getting sharper. I actually went to bed one night and figured out a math problem that was on a take-home exam in my sleep! Sometimes I still elect to dissociate — to numb myself. I am learning emotional regulation, but sometimes it’s a lot of effort that I don’t have. I have seen perfectionism in my siblings and my son as a response to inability to emotionally regulate — having a focus, a goal, a list of tasks — moving the energy to the prefrontal cortex and out of the lower brain. I also racewalk and that is a critical necessity — it is bilateral, like EMDR, and calms me down. I’ll keep mulling…so much in this community that keeps expanding our awareness. Thanks to you and Rebecca!
Thank you for sharing your experience Melanie, I am saddened to hear of it but I’m also happy that you can relate. There are so many of us with this experience and we keep living under the assumption that we are defective or somehow even doing insanity wrong. With time, connection, and work there is certainly hope for a fulfilling life.
Melanie, there's so much important stuff here in your comment - with your permission I'd like to keep a private copy of this because I know I'm going to have you come on to do a livestream with me on transgenerational trauma and such but I think the things you write here our Community would also like to hear about and maybe ask questions about, and maybe for part of the live stream Aun can jump on to chime in cuz we can have three or four people in a collaboration, I just discovered. Would it be okay if I saved this comment here of yours so I can refer to it later?
Of course! I really love this community that you are building. I’m happy to be part of it.
Wonderful, thanks, Melanie!
This is an incredibly helpful and valuable discussion. Thank you Rebecca for your content that is so vital to healing from FSa. Dr. Ali, thank you so much for your transparency. Your story helps me so much!
Thank you, Constance - I'll have Dr. Ali back on soon - I'm going to ask our paid members what they might like us to further hone in on in our next collaborative livestream. If you want to chime in on that early, you can do so by replying to me here.
I love what you're doing! I can't imagine improving it! Just more of the same. I do prefer the lives, rather than the written posts. I can listen while I'm doing housework, LOL!!
Great feedback, Constance, thank you! I love doing the lives and love having subscribers on camera; love the live chat and love our private livestreams as well. June 20th is our next private community Livestream and I'll be having Dr. Simon Rogoff on July 7th. I'll get announcements out soon.