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Melanie Ess's avatar

I am so so so happy to see this. Edward Said, a great scholar from Jerusalem, asked in his essay, Reflections on Exile, "Is it not true that…exile…is produced by human beings for other human beings; and that, like death but without death’s ultimate mercy, it has torn millions of people from the nourishment of tradition, family and geography?” The line “death without death’s ultimate mercy” hit me hard. Being the exile in a particularly brutal family system, and bearing the load of toxic shame, death can seem like a welcome solution. How many of us have contemplated ending our own lives, because we are denied our own humanity? This post is so timely. Family splitting is racial splitting is national splitting is global splitting. In my own healing, I have turned to the writings of scapegoated people and concluded that, for me, "All the work I have done to heal leads me away from myself. To survivors, the world over. That’s where I find true family. People gutted by violence from domestic abuse to genocide. Survivors of injustice. We are kin.” It shakes us, but in connectedness, we can heal.

Rebecca, this work — your work, the work of survivors, is radical in the true meaning of the word, "getting at the root.” Seeing my own healing work in a larger context has without doubt given me the sense that I belong to a larger family, and I am not alone. As always, thank you.

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Aun Ali, MBBS's avatar

I’m halfway through, because I need to go for a short walk. I think this should be in newspapers and school curricula. Brain feels such relief at having it all laid out so neatly. Like nesting dolls.

Ps. Read the full article, thank you so much for writing this! Will be sharing it far and wide. As a Pashtun person (Afghan/Pakistani), this clicked for me on so many levels and genuinely brings me peace. Having this monster unseen by the rest of the world feels like the bigger danger than even facing it!

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